And now, it is finally time for the exciting conclusion of the Princess Natima Rescue Chronicles!
The final objective: GET HOME.
Will it happen for our brave adventurers? Let’s find out…
But first:
DM: Brent
Draeya: Half-Elf Ranger CG (Heather)
Brenna Badger: Forest Gnome Druid NG (Maddy)
Dallian Lorgo aka “Dealio”: Rock Gnome Rogue CN (Kurt)
Eldewyn: High Elf Fighter CN (Anderson)
Kit Kat: Half-Elf Bard NG (Jenny)
Chsaud: Wood Elf Paladin LG (Elliot)
Remember, our questers were in the Gardens of Hrunchuk, with Natima, as instructed. A liaison from the House of Campbell arrived to inform the group that they were to now bring Natima to the General Assembly (a big meeting of all the Heads of Zenicce Enclaves). Mild indignation and major skepticism run rampant as the group want to know exactly what’s going on, who to trust, and ESPECIALLY why were they designated as the Princess’s personal Uber-drivers? It’s obvious that the group has been charged with keeping Natima out of the way until the great reveal at the GenAss…and that they are just as much a pawn in this political game as the princess is.
And isn’t that just as infuriating as all get out?
Eventually, the party opts to continue down the rabbit hole and take Natima to wherever the dudes say to take her. The party ascends into the daylight – there are no flaming buffaloes now; however, dead monk bodies litter the area and the Baron Campbell guy claims his men “took care of them.” Well. Brenna takes a moment to strew burial flowers among the corpses to freshen their Pathway to Nirvana (the more expensive version of Stairway to Heaven, I think). The Campbell man steers the group through Zenicce and just as they are halfway over a large, concrete bridge (no crocodiles spotted), the group sees a group of men coming towards them, and they sport the colors of the house of Estercari. With bows. Um. This could be good. It could also be bad. Probably bad.
Natima, out in front, shouts out, “L’Hal! Jarek! It’s me, Natima.” To which Jarek responds by firing an arrow at her! Is this the typical Estercari method of greeting? Jarek calls out that Natima has become an embarrassment to the house and…what? She must be dispatched?! There are members of our group that are of two minds – parting with the princess would NOT be sweet sorrow; however, the loss of the paycheck that comes with doing the job would be. So.
KitKat and Eldewyn try talking/shouting/threatening the Estercari men – to no avail. Dallian, meanwhile, is having issues with their Campbell escort. At the firing of the arrow, that guy took a step back, obviously looking to run away. And that cowardice just doesn’t sit well with the rock gnome. He orders the Campbell guy to turn back and fight these men. And does it work? Dallian’s Critical FUMBLE says no.
The group readies itself for a fight, although there’s no great excitement about it. Brenna Wild Shapes into a black bear. Chsaud and Draeya draw out their own bows, and KitKat instructs Natima to drink the Shrinking Potion she found earlier. Eldewyn then puts Natima Barbie(TM) into his pocket. There is much snickering about this and references to Mike Teevee’s (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) similar predicament.
Then, the Estercari group puts away their bows and BEGIN TO RUN towards our brave questers, drawing their rapiers as they do so. As if things couldn’t get worse, as the party turns back to flee, more Estercari-garbed men appear on the other side. The group is hemmed in, and are practically being forced into a battle they really don’t want to fight.
While the forest gnome continues to distract the oncoming armies with her bear form, the rest of the party makes the decision to leap into the river, thus forming the Zenicce Swim Team. Dallian cannonballs, Chsaud rolls a Nat 20 and does the most graceful escape dive of all time, and Eldewyn finally fulfills his dream of being able to pilot a water vehicle as he is now one.
After coming to the surface, the group begins to move back towards the shore, the bridge, and the rest of the action. Brenna is the only one, then, who sees ANOTHER group of men move in behind the Estercari and start FIRING arrows at them! These men wear green tunics. Brenna manages to dodge the flying arrows while being Intimidating. How? You ask? By performing the Macarena. Because is there anything more scary, really? The ZST (Zenicce Swim Team) reaches the shore and has a decision to make: continue on to the General Assembly, where they are to bring Natima Barbie(TM) or leave Brenna on the bridge.
Again, enter the overall objective here: GET HOME. It would seem taking Natima to the GA gets the party one step closer to that goal. Brenna will catch up. Right. Right? Thus, the party moves towards the direction of the building that houses the GA, and Brenna decides to Un-Wild Shape, announcing herself to the nearest green-garbed soldier.
B: Hey, who are you?
Soldier: L’Hal. I am of the House of Wanek.
The major revelation of the conversation that follows is the announcement by the soldier that Campbell is actually a criminal. Just a reminder: Campbell is our party’s present employer. Oops. However, if there’s one thing our group has learned here in Zenicce, it’s that nobody is to be trusted. At some point, the Wanek guy introduces a hulking, dim-witted-looking fellow behind him as Webron (James), who, we learn, loves the Princess Natima.
Well, of course he does! Because of her winning personality and how beautiful she is.
But, as the ZST has now arrived on the scene, Eldewyn seeks to confirm this as he makes teeny talk with the Princess. Indeed, she says she knows the man (Webron) and that she loves him in return. Funny that she also never mentioned him until now. Alas. She also states that she hates her father and will never do anything for him. Again, funny to hear this considering the group has been trying to get the girl back to her family. Alas.
There is some discussion about how to proceed. One of the group members (notes unclear) mention the girl Arwin, who may provide answers on how to return to Phandalin. Upon hearing that name, Barbie Natima(TM) pipes in with, “If you help me reunite with Webron, I will help you get to Arwin.” KitKat does a little Persuasion check and eventually, everyone is on board with the plan to 1.) find this Arwin and 2.) reunite the lovebirds and 3.) get the heck off of this stupid mudball and back home.
The plan:
After Natima Barbie(TM) suggests Arwin might be with her father at the Assembly, KitKat does a quick Arcana check. The potion will last about an hour, of which maybe 15ish minutes are already gone. The bard then makes Dallian invisible, and the rock gnome takes Natima from Eldewyn and the two little people head into the General Assembly to find this Arwin.
Seems like a solidly conceived plan, right? Smooth sailing and all that?
Well, actually, as this scribe reviews her notes, yes. Things go swimmingly well.
Oh. Forgot to mention: Brenna Badger Wild Shapes into a small creature and follows behind.
The General Assembly is your usual boring political grandstanding. Campbell is at the front of the group, monologuing that the current Codifex can’t be trusted (that seems to be a qualification to run for the office if you ask moi), and that he can’t even keep track of his daughter. Yada yada yada. Natima spots the slave girl Arwin in the Estercari contingent and they move towards her. Campbell soon finishes his speech and Wanek takes the stage with the great announcement that Campbell can’t be trusted either because AFTER ALL, he has proof that Campbell arranged for the kidnapping of the Princess Natima!
Imagine the gasps all around the room.
The climate is heating up, as it were, and so it’s time to get this Arwin chick and depart the room. Nay, the planet. Arwin must be used to all kinds of crazy, because she does not react too strangely when an invisible pipsqueaky voice says, “It’s me, Natima!” When Invisi-Dallian mentions returning home, Arwin asks about a pair of slippers. The rogue confirms that they have a pair, and Arwin accompanies the group outside ever-so-quietly.
REUNITED…’cause it feels so good…thank you, Peaches & Herb.
KitKat shows Arwin the ruby slippers and then the girl drops the biggest bombshell in the history of D&D adventure bombshells: Her real name is Harwin. Harwin Wester. Wester. And her dad? You probably guessed it.
HARBIN. That weirdo mayor recluse guy from Phandalin. The guy the group suspects transported them here.
Oh, boy. Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy. Will there be a conversation with that guy when the group returns. Let’s just hope that conversation, for Harbin’s sake, doesn’t involve pointy rapiers and sharp daggers.
Before the group leaves, Natima is returned to her normal size and she and Webron James have a lovely reunion. Brenna advises them to make their new home in the monk temple near Hrunchuk’s Gardens. Since all the monks there are dead, it’s move-in ready! As our brave questers join hands to accompany Arwin home, their last view of the city of Zenicce is Wanek running out of the building shouting, “I won!!! I’m the Codifex!”
Great. Congratulations to everyone in Zenicce. As far as our heroes are concerned, everyone in this city deserves each other.
Arwin dons the shoes, clicks her heels together three times, and as the group joins hands, the portal opens and within seconds, our brave party is deposited back onto the terra firma of their home planet. However, the group awakens at the banquet table in the middle of Harbin’s party. Which now seems like years ago, but in fact, it would seem very little time has passed in reality.
Rolling a high Perception check, Chsaud comes around quicker than the others and spots Harbin nearby wearing a wizard’s hat. There is suddenly a great cacophony of shrieking as Harbin and Harwin are affectionately and noisily reunited. Chsaud then casts Zone of Truth on Harbin…but does not tell the group what the spell revealed. That’s the eccentric paladin Chad for you.
Arwin (gesturing at groggy party members): Father. These people saved me.
Harbin: Thank you so very much. You are worthy.
Eldewyn stumbles over and attempts to punch Harbin, but the fist is blocked by Chsaud. Or, at least, the paladin tries to block it, but as the high elf rolls a Natural 20, Chsaud’s parry is not really that effective.
Harbin: Heh. I probably deserve that.
He spends the next several seconds apologizing and explaining how desperate he was to get his daughter back. He reveals that he and Arwin had journeyed to Cregan (WTH for? It’s not a tourist destination or anything.) and somehow the girl was stranded there. If Harbin is as great of a parent as he is a mayor, then this is no surprise. Being the crappy wizard that he was, he was unable to rescue her. Soooooo…he dupes a group of brave and noble people into doing it for him. What a real prince.
Your scribe is fully aware of the editorial commentary in the paragraph above. She never promised to be impartial and objective. No apologies.
Harbin continues on in a sniffling, apologetic vein for some time before the group takes pity on him and lets him enjoy his reunion.
After all, the night’s festivities are underway and everyone’s got their Brenna flower crowns on! Time to party!
And, thus ends this portion of the adventures for the Quarantine Questers. They saved the day, got the treasure, and learned many life lessons along the way. They’ve earned a few days’ of well-deserved rest, no doubt.
Until the next time, friends!
Ever your steadfast scribe,
Heather