Two months, my fair friends, since the last gathering of the greatest! This session will prove to be an exciting one! But first, let’s review…
Fiona: Lightfoot Halfling Rogue (Jenny)
Thalia: High Elf Wizard (Kurt)
Gallant: Wood Elf Fighter (Christina)
Ahfa: Human Paladin (Brent)
Zulu: Dwarf Cleric (Javin)
Summary of what options the group has:
Low Seas Drama – Yannos
Nulligan’s – Scroll Info
Dark Moon Monastery contest (Gallant, Thalia, Ahfa)
What to do with “The Papers”
The Anthony Affair
Currently, it is mid-to-late morning in the Garden Quarter…
The party is wrapping up a conversation with Frederick Ramston and his wife. The party has been hired to follow and report on the activities of their son, Anthony. Ramston has indicated he will need a day or so to pursue the party’s requests for credentials, disguises, etc. Frederick also has no real information on Anthony’s weekend whereabouts, which leads this scribe to wonder about the quality of parenting happening in the Ramston household. Alas , the group opts to head on back to the Green Dragon Inn, using the leisurely walk to discuss the clothing of the local Rhennee people. The purple and yellow sashes/dresses are common among the gypsy-esque bargefolk and so far, our brave champions have seen these colors at least three times in as many days that they’ve been in Greyhawk. There’s either a sign from the universe or just an inordinate number of Minnesota Vikings fans about the city.
1. Colors on the thugs who roughed up Anthony and Friends outside the GDI.
2. Colors on the skeletons found near the Nerull/Scythe trap in castle ruins. **Also, the signet ring was found on these bodies.
3. Amalia, the sister-wife of Yannos Mezaros, wore the colors also.
Upon arrival back at the GDI, Dendra the day barmaid calls out to Gallant. Her party’s number has been called and they are to report to the Dark Moon Monastery immediately for competition. There is no sign of Ricard and Dendra is sour-faced when Fiona asks about him.
Upon the four-minute walk to the monastery, the party notices several monks milling about within a large training pavilion. The group is welcomed by an elder emcee-monk who beckons them to a private preparation area. Fiona and Zulu are directed to the viewing theater, where they are thrilled to have access to turkey legs, ale, and later, funnel cakes. It is noted by all five players, that the monks wear white robes and tunics that have a raised fist on them.
The emcee guy explains further to the three contestants that there will be four contests to test them in all areas of endurance and cunning. Contest 1 – Footrace; Contest 2 – Wiseman’s Hour (storytelling/poetry contest); Contest 3 – The Grand Display (can showcase off abilities); Contest 4 – Sparring. There is much excitment and anticipation in the air and so, let the games begin.
Contest #1: A mile and a half race (3 laps). Runners roll twice every lap to determine placement and when the dust settles Monk #3 takes first place. The wizard surprises everyone by coming in second. Gallant is 3rd, and Ahfa and the other two monks shuffle out in that 4th-6th place range. It’s a very exciting race and the crowd loved the back and forth. Fiona and Zulu comment on the quality of the food they are enjoying (pretzels and turkey legs). They keep a vigilant eye open for Anthony, but to no avail.
The monk emcee gives the three questers 10 minutes to prepare for the Wiseman’s Hour contest. The topic: The Merits of Women Warriors. Any sort of oral delivery is acceptable: Poem, story, haiku, etc. (GM: D20 + deception + performance checks). And here’s how that all shakes out.
Gallant (with a roll of 6) steps onto the performance dais to recite this:
Women’s breasts strong, firm
Vaginas take a pounding
Yes girls, beat me off
There is a stunned moment of silence as the crowd is obviously trying to work out if they should be offended or not.
Nobody knows what to expect when the shy wizard takes the stage, but Thalia soon launches into an impassioned plea for equal rights armor (paraphrased here):
It isn’t fair that all armors in kingdom leave women so uncovered. A change needs to be made so women don’t get their arms cut off.
In and of itself, Thalia’s argument is an excellent one, but then she brings it home with this piece de resistance.
I know women have one advantage.
Without waiting to for the crowd’s reaction, she puts a knee into Gallant’s crotch, bringing the fighter to their knees. Gallant, obviously, goes down and Ahfa reluctantly offers to Lay Hands on Gallant’s nads.
The three monk competitors do not fare as well in the Wiseman’s Hour moment. Perhaps they thought might was right, but it’s obvious to the crowd that they hadn’t prepared. Or maybe they don’t like women.
Finally, Ahfa takes the stage. And this is what comes from the paladin’s mouth:
Do you know Xena?
It’s a Beautiful Scene-a
Warrior princess
Not one to mince with
Cunning. Brave. Strong
She can do no wrong.
Do not be a square
Praise woman everywhere
The crowd goes wild, prompting Zulu to shout, “that’s my friend up there!”.
Zulu and Fiona, by the way are feeling goooooood – working on another ale and turkey leg.
Contest #3 is called The Grand Display (GM: D20 + Audience Performance check)
The Dark Moon monks opt to demonstrate their physical prowess and complete a series of tumbling, shadow fighting and parkour-type moves. Fiona and Zulu, in the audience, roll their Performance checks and the results are as follows:
Monk #1 – Very much like Heath Ledger in Knight’s Tale (except without the jousting?)
Monk #2 – Not good at all, sort of a flopping around.
Monk #3 – Very impressive. Think Viktor Krum from Durmstrang.
In related news, Fiona is feeling a little overheated after the DMM monks’ displays.
Finally, it’s our champions’ turn to showcase their abilities. Gallant, recovered now, steps onto the stage wearing a robe. In one deft moment, Gallant flings the robe away to reveal an oiled, loincloth-clad-only body. Nobody in the crowd denies the subsequent bodybuilder moves are impressive, but Fiona and Zulu find themselves a little embarrassed. They’ve never seen THIS side of their friend before.
Thalia then steps up and this is her plan: she is going to cast Mage Hands, then use Magic Missile (yellow bolts) to shoot at targets. As the crowd is wowed by that, Thalia then will turn invisible and cast Fireball into the sky. But then, she rolls a Nat 20 and the crowd is utterly stunned into silence before erupting in boisterous applause. It’s clear Fiona and Zulu were not expecting this as they can be heard over the crowd with exclamations of “Wow!” and “What is that?”
Ahfa steps up, the final contestant. He gloriously proclaims to the crowd: You are beautiful. Bless you. Have a nice day. Then he Channels Divinity into hi Sacred Weapon and proceeds to put on an impressive display of battle maneuvers with his glowing battle axe.
After 3 events, Thalia is leading the competition, but close behind is Gallant and Ahfa. The monks are somewhere at the back, but it is by no means over for them. And in fact, their best event is next (and last).
Contest 4: Sparring
Contestants will pick one weapon that will be wrapped in a special, leather sheath. This prevents the weapon from dealing lethal damage. The monks will be using their fists, so they don
Magic users will use a special metamagic rod that converts damage to non-lethal. No buffing, no metamagic, pre-game spells.
Meanwhile, as Fiona steps out to attend to some other rogue business, a well-dressed, fairly polite gentleman introduces himself to Zulu. Unthias Fell is a representative of the Greyhawk Merchant and Trader’s Union. As the union’s liaison, he is interested in speaking with the group about items that have been taken/stolen/missing in the recent caravan raids. He has heard of their excursion to the ruins of Castle Greyhawk and would like to discuss their findings. He says he may stop by later in the evening; he knows they are staying at GDI. Zulu says he’ll let the group know. Fiona returns and Zulu informs her of the new development. The rogue immediately asks “what stolen goods?” before stating that “We probably don’t have anything to really tell him.”
The order for the sparring: Ahfa, Gallant, Thalia.
Ahfa – Feels like this is his moment. Battling monk #1 (The Elite)
1st round: Hits. Then gets “1” and falls. Disadvantage to 2nd roll.
2nd round: Ahfa misses. Monk hits.
3rd round: Ahfa misses (“1”). Monk get natural 20.
4th round: Ahfa hits once. Monk hits.
5th round: Ahfa hits once. Monk misses.
6th round: Ahfa hits once. Monk hits.
7th round: Ahfa hits once. Monk hits.
8th round: Ahfa hits twice! Monk misses.
9th round: Ahfa misses. Monk hits.
10th round: Ahfa (down to one hit point) hits. Barely takes out the monk.
Gallant versus Monk #2 (using long sword)
1st round: Two hits. Monk hits.
2nd round: One hit. Monk misses.
3rd round: Two misses. Monk hits.
4th round: One hit. Monk hits.
5th round: Two misses. Monk hits.
6th round: One hit. Monk hits.
7th round: One hit. Monk falls down.
Zulu in the stands makes the comment to Fiona: These monks don’t look too bad! We should have entered.
Thalia versus Monk #3
Zulu: I can’t look. I can’t look.
Fiona, who likes monk #3, exclaims, “Who are you cheering for?”
1st round: Thalia hits with Vampiric Touch. Monk hits.
2nd round: Misses. Monk hits.
3rd round: Hits. Monk hits.
4th round: Misses. Monk hits.
5th round: Misses. Monk hits.
Monk helps up Thalia. Chivalry is not dead!
It’s a very close call, but eventually, Ahfa and Gallant are declared co-winners, and the paladin gracefully concedes to Gallant.
Iquoyan (the Head Monk) appears and beckons the three competitors to a private tent, where he presents Gallant with a wrapped satchel. The Grand Prize: Pouch – 300 GP. A pretty amulet. Dagger with a beautifully bejeweled handle (glimmers). In second place, Ahfa receives 200 gp.
Iquoyan congratulations everyone and makes a gesture to a monk behind him, who brings out a lacquered, black chest. Iquoyan opens the chest slowly, and it’s obvious the contest was just a pregame to the big show. The Head Monk launched into a tale of his monastery’s history: their travel from Baklun, their worship of the survivor God Zuoken, how that god disappeared a hundred years ago, all communication cut off and the monks have been traveling, searching for signs every since. Ahfa nods, as he’s heard of this minor deity before.
Continuing on, Iquoyan relates how the monks came to Greyhawk as their omen readings indicated Zuoken was somehow trapped here, beneath the ruins of Castle Greyhawk, in a God Trap designed by Zagig to turn himself into a god. And if that isn’t shocking enough, Iquoyan goes one step further and warns the party to watch Ricard Damaris, and that he may not be everything he says he is. Ultimately, Iquoyan offers the fist-sized ruby as payment to the party for them to investigate the depths of Castle Greyhawk and provide evidence of Zuoken’s whereabouts. When pressed for more information, Iquoyan muses that perhaps that Ricard, while the present owner of G.D. Inn, may not be fully aware of the situation either.
As this point, Iquoyan takes his leave, stating he will await their decision. The party of five reunite and they all share information (the new Zuoken quest and the potential meeting with Unthias Fell). Thalia, uncharacteristically for her, expresses the need for a drink.
And so the party heads on back to the Green Dragon Inn, where they are greeted with the disappointing news that the Beat the Bard contest ahas been postponed.
Lots of games are afoot, friends!
As always,
Your Scribe (with a little help from my friends)
Heather