February 21, 2023: Write about a support group

Networking

There were a series of head-bobbings, good mornings, and general expressions of greetings as the eight of us filed in for our Friday morning “Local Entrepreneurs” networking group. I, in particular, was not looking as forward to this particular Friday, as our moderator, Ben, would be discussing marketing strategies, tips, and techniques.  As much as I know I needed it, I did not love marketing. I hoped to take diligent notes and find something I could use for my own work.

But, at least, there were other business owners here I could commiserate with.

Ben was known for being chonically late, but as he’d been the moderator this week, we expected him to be prompt. This morning, however, It was already seven minutes past our starting time and he was nowhere to be found. The rest of us made semi-awkward small talk, catching up on wins and challenges in our own businesses, figuring Ben would waltz in at any minute.

Two minutes later, someone’s phone buzzed. Shelly, another one of the long-time attendees, looked at her phone. Then, she looked up at us, grave and gray-faced.

“Ben’s son was found dead this morning. He’d shot himself.”

Nobody needed to ask if that was why Ben wasn’t here.

There was a long pause as we all processed the news: I heard a sniffle and a whsipered prayer. Someone else had closed their eyes and bowed their head.  Nobody reached for their coffee or their cell phone. Ben’s terrible news had somehow unilaterally reminded us that life is tenuous and can change in a second.

I heard a throat clear. I looked down the table to see Joan, eyes bright, opening her mouth to speak. I dreaded it. Joan was a nice enough woman, but a cutthroat player of a businesswoman. Her brusque demeanor could offend at times and she always had the expert advice, no matter the topic.

“My first husband killed himself,” she said quietly.

There was another moment of silence, this time stunned. This, I was not expecting to hear. And I was not expecting to respond.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said just as quietly, shortly followed by the murmured repeats of the others around me. “It’s a horrible thing. I had a high school friend leave for lunch break one day, and he never came back. He died alone.  Heartbreaking.”

Ten minutes later, we adjourned the meeting, as there was really no business any of us felt like discussing. But, we all discovered another thing we had in common bsides being a business owner: we all knew someone in our personal lives that had taken their own life.

And we all agreed, none of us were the same after.