Gnomengarden: There’s No Place Like Gnome

It’s a crazy time – trying to fit D&D sessions in between NFL playoff games.  Keeping things short and simple today so that everyone can enjoy those Sunday afternoon extra-curriculars.

As always, the Quarantine Quester party recap:

  • DM: Brent
  • Draeya: Half-Elf Ranger CG (Heather)
  • Brenna Badger: Forest Gnome Druid NG (Maddy)
  • Dallian Lorgo aka “Dealio”: Rock Gnome Rogue CN (Kurt)
  • Eldewyn: High Elf Fighter CN (Anderson)
  • Kit Kat: Half-Elf Bard NG (Jenny)
  • Chsaud: Wood Elf Paladin LG (Elliot)

If you remember, gorgeous readers, our party was resting and recovering in the infamous Barrel Room in the realm of Gnomengarden, in which an innocent search for mushroom wine escalated into a horrific Mimic barrel attack.  The party was lucky, and only minor injuries were obtained…and by minor, the scribe means only one person got hurt. But, one other player did have a gross tongue wrapped around them, and that kind of thing will inflict injuries of a different kind.

Anyway.

At present, the party is still stunned from the action of a few minutes ago.  Moments are taken here to gather wits, steady nerves, and enjoy a surreptitious slug of delicious mushroom wine. Dallian informs the party that this is “not normal gnome behavior”.  Which is reassuring, to say the least.

The party decides to “continue into the unknown”, which prompts the bard to harness her inner Elsa.  For the record, the marching order is: Dallian, Eldewyn, Kit Kat, Brenna (still in badger form), and Chsaud.  Draeya, in ever-alert ranger mode, brings up the rear. The south-winding passage brings the party into a chamber, where a ledge and a 15-foot drop are at one end.  Another passage leads out to the group’s right, so our heroes need not leap to their deaths like lemmings in order to exit.

Stationed near the ledge are two more gnomes, who bellow out, “Who goes there?” in a guttural tongue not recognizable to any but Dallian.  Fortunately, the same phrase is then uttered in Common.

Dallian: Hello there friends. We’ve come to seek aid. The town of Phandalin is being threatened by a white dragon. We’ve been sent by Harbin Wester to obtain magical items to assist in the defeat of the beast.

Belligerent Gnome: How do I know you’re really a gnome?

D: I can do a Gnomish dance.

BG: Do it.

A weighty pause ensues.  OOG, Kurt dancing would be amazing. Will he, though, despite his character’s impetuous manner?

Answer: No.

D: I can’t do it front of people. (Perhaps attributed to performance anxiety, but more likely that it’s some sacred ritual that is not to be witnessed by non-gnome folk?)

BG: Very well. I see an elf…?

D: That’s Chad.

This prompts the paladin to remind the party that, in fact, his name is CH-SAUD and he is on a noble librarian quest from his homeland of Chsaudi Arabia.

There is much back and forth; eventually Draeya, Dallian, and Chsaud roll Charisma/Perusasion rolls.  The gnome (whose name is Pog) believes the words of the rock gnome and the paladin…but the tall half-elf ranger is suspect, and finally, Dallian has to vouch for Draeya’s good name.

And it seems to be the beginning of a session in which the Ranger will be indebted to her fellow questers…

Dallian is relating to Pog the escapades of the morning, who chuckles about that “silly Facktorae”.  (Facktorae = murderous merry-go-round gnome.)  When the rock gnome then asks about going to see the king, Pog informs the party that the king resides on the other side of the waterfall (of course he does) and does not often come out much among his people.  It is said the king is quite afraid of whatever has been abducting his gnome subjects. In fact, he has secluded himself in his chambers, along with his Queen.

Weird.

The party is finding a moderate degree of difficulty in securing any kind of safe roaming capability here in Gnomengarden.  “Dealio” tries to work his rock gnome magic for a note or SOMETHING to help the group travel through the kingdom without being fired at or licked or unfairly profiled. Finally, Pog sends his colleague, Ola, to accompany the group to the king’s chamber.  As the group travels, Dallian makes conversation with Ola, his (maybe) rock gnome kin.

Long story short, it’s scary times in the world of Gnomengarden. Ola explains their folk have been disappearing in the last few weeks/months.  It’s certainly alarming and tragic; however, not alarming enough for any Gnomengarden folk to do any investigations or put any real defenses in place.  And the king, the supposed symbol of strength, has barricaded himself in his personal chambers.  Hmmmm.

The party eventually comes to the swinging brdge they’d seen when they first arrived the day before.  And now, upclose, it’s quite clear how rickety this walkway is.  The DM asks for Athletics checks all around.  There is concern for the badger, with her small paws and the wide spaces in the bridge’s layout.  Chsaud the paladin allows her ride on his back, though, and they both cross with no major problem.  Eldewyn rolls very well and practically glides across the thing, and probably nails a perfect somersault landing at the end – if he would have decided to do that.  Everyone else navigates the bridge adequately as well.

Upon moving west down a corridor and coming into a chamber, the group sees a turnstile-type apparatus, with large spinning blades.  Ola gestures to the far wall, to the apparent turn-off lever or switch.  Obviously, gnomes enjoy their circle-y death inventions here in the Gnome Funhouse from Hell.  Dallian asks Ola a great question: how do you normally get through? Ola responds that usually, someone else is stationed on the other side to flip the switch.  Surely, Draeya is not the only one with the unspoken thought that all the recent gnome disappearances sure have affected workplace efficiency around here.

The idea forms that Brenna, in her badger form, sneak under the blades, scamper to the other side, and pull the lever.  Kit Kat boosts the little creature’s confidence with a little inspiring song and soon, Brenna Badger is successful at her army-crawl attempt.  There is much applause from the rest of the party.

In another chamber, the group is greeted by two other gnomes.  They introduce themselves as Fibblestib and Dabbledub (not kidding here), and when Ola brings them up to speed, Fibby explains that the king has become quite unreasonable in his fear.  He has not ventured out of his private chambers in weeks and there is chatter among the Gnomengardenians  about “curing him of his madness” by way of “straitjackets” and something called a “sanity ray” – which now gives this scene a very Clockwork Orange feel to it.

Eldewyn then states that the group needs assistance, magic, if the dragon is to be defeated.  Leveling his gaze at the gnomes, he says, “We might help you if you help us.”

The gnomes then ask the heroes for help in finding out what’s killing their people.  The rumor is that it is a shapeshifter of some kind who is responsible.

And a collective sigh of relief is breathed by the group.

Dallian goes on to explain the recent wine barrel-mimic interlude.  “We might have solved your problem,” he concludes.  Kit Kat implores them as well. “Take us to the king. Let us speak with him.”

Ola departs back to her station and Flibber and Dubber continue on to the king’s rooms.  Through the heavy door, Karboz the King demands the carcass of the killer be brought to him.

Whaaaaaaaat? Haul the whole mimic-barrel body back across that bridge? For reals?

Between Kit Kat’s soothing song and Chsaud’s divine persuasion, the gnome king soon opens his door to the party.  It is evident Karboz has been affected by the events of his kingdom – as he certainly looks shaggy and recluse-y. The stone chamber is roughly 20’ x 15’ and there are two throne-looking chairs at one end.  Seated in one of them is a female gnome, who the party learns is Gnerkli, the Queen. Once the group enters, Karboz walks over to where his Queen sits, and then proceeds to pour a vial containing some kind of substance over her and the chair.  At that, Gnerkli now stands as well, leading the players to believe she was glued to her chair somehow.

Draeya’s hackles are raised; she wonders if that sanity ray wasn’t such a terrible idea.

Eldewyn uses his Knowledge: Arcana to inspect the chair Gnerkli sat in, and determines the substance is indeed of a viscous, gluey nature.  There some basic questions towards the Queen and her life in Gnomengarde, but nothing that leads anywhere.  Draeya lets the matter rest for now.

Karboz directs Fibblestib to retrieve the physical evidence of the dead shapeshifter.  During the lull in the action, there is discussion of the white dragon. Karboz confirms there have been sightings, but he can say nothing more than that. Of course, he can’t, he hasn’t seen daylight…or a razor… for several weeks, by the looks of it!

Dallian surreptitiously scans the room for anything useful or interesting, but nothing catches his eye. Flibs returns at that moment, dragging the barrel…or remains of what might have been one, once upon a time.

Chsaud: Here’s your proof.  Will you now disable your defenses?

Karboz: No.  But…I have rewards!

Then, readers, because you’ve probably forgotten we were in the gnome king’s bedroom, Karboz reaches under his BED and pulls out a chest.  Just before he opens it, he addresses Dallian.

K: Are you a wizard?
D: I could be.

Karboz lifts a hat up out of the box. Kit Kat inquires about it and Karboz tells them it is a Hat of Wizardry (insert collective ‘ooooooh’ from audience).  The hat helps with spell focus and allows the wearer to attempt casting one, not-learned-already cantrip.  Eldewyn perks up and Dallian, seeing as he’d really have no use for the chapeau himself, hands it over to the high elf.  Karboz then lifts out something he calls the Wand of Pyrotechnics, and Dallian brightens considerably at the sound of that.

After the Wand’s description is given (seven charges/day, brightly colored lights out of the end) and there is a moment to process the information, it is Kit Kat who says it best…

“So, it’s a glorified flashlight?”

And *that* was the Second Showcase, folks.

At this point, excitement for exploring any more of Gnomengarden is winding down.  Karboz does say the group will be allowed to visit the Treasury, where two more rewards await there also.  Fudge and Drudge lead the way.  Upon entering the room, Draeya begins investigating and comes up with a Pole of Collapsing.  At a word spoken, the pole can extend from one foot to ten and back again.  The ranger tucks it into her pack, next to her jug of mushroom wine. The rock gnome also investigates and finds a clockwork amulet, and gnomes explains it is a device from the plane of Mechanus and will add extra inspiration to the wearer, especially on attack rolls (+10+atk roll = no critical fumble, EVER).

Chsaud investigates and finds a chest of 12 gold pieces, but it is unclear if this is done surreptitiously and if the paladin informs the rest of the group (but, he’s a paladin, so shouldn’t he?)

Kit Kat rolls a low Investigation check, and thus discovers lots and lots of metal scraps and detritus. Dallian double-checks with Fibblestib that, indeed, there are NO devices here that will assist in a dragon defeat.  The gnome replies, glibly, that “all weapons here will defeat the dragon, and Harbin will especially be interested in that hat.  He fancies himself a wizard.”

The group now faces a decision.  Fibblesnbits offers up a necklace for Dallian to wear; the party can move about now freely –  exploration of the castle could continue.  However, is there any point?  Finally, the decision is made: the party will journey back to Umbrage Hill and Phandalin.

Oh yeah, and Brenna’s Wild Shape spell wears off and she is her gnome self again.

After bidding adieu to Fibs, Dubs, Karbs, Ola, Pog, and the rest of the gang, the heroes wind their way back to their favorite bridge and there’s a great deal that happens here.  Right at the end of the session, of course.  So, the scribe will run this all down to the best of her ability.

  1. Brenna is bent on being gnome bait as she wishes to leap into the water. She appeals to the ranger, who is the proud new owner of an extended fishing pole.
  2. The bard offers to cast Feather Fall on the forest gnome. The high elf wants to get in on this action as well.
  3. Feather Fall is likely cast on Brenna and Eldewyn before Kit Kat crosses the bridge and a good thing too, because all you-know-what is about to break loose.
  4. Kit Kat, Dallian, and Draeya attempt to re-cross the bridge. A low roll by the bard means her foot falls through one of the rotting slats. An attempt to rescue the bard fails disastrously, as the ranger rolls low as well.
  5. The bridge wibbles and wobbles and soon, both Kit Kat and Draeya plummet several feet into the water below.
  6. Kit Kat is nothing but a little shaken by the fall, but the ranger takes 2 points of “head-hitting-on-rock damage”
  7. Now the DM requires an Athletics check (Swim) for both Kit Kat and Draeya. Kit Kat recovers like a champ and swims to the nearest mushroom island.
  8. The ranger’s water woes continue. Another low Athletics roll now renders Draeya panicky and she begins flailing in the water.  And…her head still hurts to boot.
  9. The high elf and the forest gnome descend to the shore/island (think Arthur Weasley and Amos Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’s Portkey scene).
  10. Chsaud must have also benefitted from Kit Kat’s Feather Fall spell, because notes indicate he neither crossed the bridge nor fell in.
  11. Dallian books it along back through the passageways they’d all come the first time.
  12. On Mushroom Island, Eldewyn chucks his rope out for Draeya, who unpanicks enough to grab hold and the high elf pulls the half-elf to safety.
  13. The group easily swims from the island back to the far shore.
  14. Everyone is reunited and the DM informs the adventurers they have leveled up, but any new skills, feats, or additional hit points will not take effect until a period of rest.

And that’s a wrap on the adventures in Gnomengarden!  Now, onto to Umbrage Hill to ensure Adabra Gwynn is safe…and then to Phandalin for the next fun thing!

Cheers,

Your Faithful Scribe, Heather